“Why isn’t no one talking about these thangs?” said gangster and convicted murderer Ize-Cold Kilah after declaring his candidacy Tuesday.
Kilah said, “All them people running for president be usin’ umbrellas because they scared of da rain, especially, Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and The Rock.”
Kilah continued, “they so dumb they obviously think that if you have to much rain you gonna melt like Dorthy in, ‘The Wizard of Dodge.'”
“Who would you choose?” said Kilah, “a candidate who be scared of little tiny water drops? Someone needs to tell The Rock you can’t run for president and be fraid of water.”