Despite in the past saying, “Muslims are not, technically speaking, “people” in the same sense as you and I,” Trump backed down and finally agreed that, “Muslims are technically human beings with technically inalienable rights.”
This came after a number of contrary hints from the Trump campaign. Trump supporter, Dr. Bob Sacamano said earlier in the week, “Trump considers muslims to be very, very close to being fully human,” while another one of his reps stated, “why do we suffer these hairy things to walk among us without fear?”
Kellyanne Conway even said the Trump campaign was, “considering all options” with “the Muslim question” and that, “this could include killing them for sport in some kind of “pita hunger games.”
The next day, Trump’s campaign again reversed course saying, “we believe Muslims should all be worshipped as gods.” And proposed a, “mandatory stop and force citizen to wear a hijab” policy.
Then the next day Trump reps were back on TV saying things like, “we could build a colosseum and make Muslims fight to the death on souped-up camels.”
The Trump camp then changed their mind again and proposed nuking all non Muslims.
After that, our entire editorial team was so depressed that anyone takes Trump seriously that they all took dangerous drugs and died.
This ending was written by Bob the intern.
I AM THE ONLY ONE LEFT!!! SAVE ME!!! – Bob