“The universe is all One! All of life is One,” said Deepak Suzuki, a Buddhist Monk and New age teacher, shortly before a great white shark leaped out of the ocean, grabbed him by the leg, and pulled him into the ocean.

Suzuki is known for teaching that the universe is all One. He had just finished teaching a class of students another one of his great lessons, how you should laugh in the midst of all trials.

Despite the frightening situation, Suzuki’s top student, Shakrii Johnson, was quick to act. Without hesitation, Johnson ordered everyone to restrain from the, “temptation” of rescuing Suzuki so as not to interfere with the process of, “One-lightenment” that occurs when a man is digested inside the stomach of an animal.

“Shh!” said Johnson, “if you are very quiet, you can hear the One-ligtenment going on as we speak.”

Onlookers then reported hearing, “GRRaaaaAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! OWWW!!! HELP ME!!!! HELP! OW! OW… ow, ow OW OW OW! AAaaAAaaAAHHHHHHH!!!!!”

Johnson, realizing the seriousness of the moment, then asked the students to get into a meditative posture as he led the group to in chanting the traditional, “Ohm.”

Johnson believes that by mentally blocking out the screams, cries, and blood curdling pleas for help, everyone single one of his students also achieved One-lightenment.