Samsung Study Suggests Cell Phone Radiation May Cause Superpowers - When Faith Gives Reason a Back Rub

Samsung Study Suggests Cell Phone Radiation May Cause Superpowers

“Our tests indicate that children exposed to cell phone radiation in the womb are far more likely to develop at least one superpower,” said Samsung CEO Oh-Hyun Kwon.

“People don’t realize just how much radiation cell phones emit, and comic books have always, ever since the beginning, made a connection between radiation and superpowers.” said Kwon.

Kwon wanted to make clear that he wasn’t making outlandish claims for his product based on a study that was conducted at Samsung headquarters.

“I am not saying your child will be superman. I am simply saying that if parents keep their cell phones in their pockets right next to their reproductive organs, your child may be able to levitate a table every once and awhile. He or she may also be able to travel into the future just a few hours… nothing crazy.”

This comes off the heels of another study by Samsung that suggests people who do not upgrade their phones to the new Samsung S6 are far more likely to be members of ISIS.

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