“This would all go down easier if the GOP elite would just shut the fuck up and speak Russian,” said Donald Trump after a meeting with his Blackmail Management Taskforce.
After Trump’s plan to make Russia the official language of the US saw some resistance from his own party, Trump blasted the GOP as,
“…a bunch of elitists who believe America’s official language shouldn’t be Russian, eating apple pie shouldn’t be replaced by eating the traditional Russian dish, “Borscht” and whatever the heck this is: “Солянка,” and “in God we trust” shouldn’t be replaced by, “in Soviet Russia, ballot cast YOU!“
GOP officials who support Trump shrugged off Trump’s comments by saying things like, “we’ve made a deal with the devil and that’s final. Do you have to ask us about it every fucking day?”
However, John McCain and Lindsey Graham have fearlessly and boldly come out and stated, “we think English should be the official language of America.”
For questioning Trump, McCain and Graham are expected to receive stiff opposition in their reelection campaigns, death threats, and threats by an unknown foreign leader to imprison them for life inside of a giant Russian nesting doll.