Millions to Base their Lives on Inconclusive Study - When Faith Gives Reason a Back Rub

Millions to Base their Lives on Inconclusive Study

A recently released study of twenty corn farmers in Tennessee is expected to result in significant life changes for millions of people. This study, conducted solely on corn farmers, suggested the people who have the most amount of corn tend to be the happiest. After the story was featured on cable news and the Today Show, it has changed the lives of many people such as 38 year old investment banker Michael Cordman.

Cordman explains,

“Science says it, I believe it, and that settles it. When I hear on the news that a scientific study suggests our happiness is related to corn I will gladly craft socks and underwear wrapped in corn husks and wear them to work.”

Cordman continued,

“When I walk around the office I can hear the crunch of the corn husks from my socks and underwear. The very noticeable sound is so delightful it causes me to grin from ear to ear. This definitely seems to be making me happier! When my coworkers see me walk by with a huge grin, and hear the loud crunching and squeaking sounds coming from multiple places in my body, they are much more likely to smile and laugh as I pass by… it seems to be making them happier as well!”

“I am not ashamed to do this.” Said Cordman, “this isn’t like religion that causes people to do crazy things based on unproven assertions. This is science!”

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A new study says click here for more posts OR ELSE something bad WILL happen…

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