“Everyone knows it, James Bond is completely biased against me,” said Donald Trump while sipping brandy on his Yacht and watching his butler fight an alligator to the death.
Trump claims that ever since the Bond films began in 1962, James Bond has demonstrated a clear an consistent bias against him personally.
“James Bond has never gone after Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama… this is clear bias!” said Trump. He continued,
“While Bond has consistently parachuted in on my meetings, removed lazers from the heads of my pet sharks, and repelled down from a helicopter just to get an interview with me.”
Even Trump’s regular Trump surrogates claim to have been targets of extreme bias and personal attacks. For example, Rudy Guilliani claims, “Austin Powers has some kind of sick obsession with me and mini-me.”
“If this isn’t bias, I don’t know what is” said Kellyanne Conway who pointed out that
“Superman, Batman & even Dora the Explorer have gone out of their way to oppose Trump. When even Dora the Explorer can’t stay out of politics to work with Batman to stop Trump you know there’s extreme bias going on.”
The Trump campaign plans to work with ABC’s “Shark Tank” to, “get Bond to appear on an episode… if you know what I mean… AHAHAhahahAHAHAHhahahaAHAHAH…. HA!” said a Trump surrogate on CNN this morning.