TRUMP LEAKED: "Loving Your Neighbor as Yourself is for Pussies" - When Faith Gives Reason a Back Rub

TRUMP LEAKED: “Loving Your Neighbor as Yourself is for Pussies”

Photo: Reuters/Joshua Roberts

Photo: Reuters/Joshua Roberts

 

Just before Trump’s famous speech at the evangelical college Liberty University, Donald Trump had a behind the scenes meeting with one of his top aides.

Amazingly, that meeting is now public. A recording of the meeting was released by a high level member of Trump’s inner circle. An excerpt of the transcript is below…

 

Trump:

You know… I just found out about this verse in the bible… seems… I don’t even know how to put it… beyond stupid…

I know I need the evangelical vote… but do I have to talk about this crap?”

Trump Aide:

Which verse?

Trump:

Love your neighbor as yourself.” Are you kidding? My immigration policy would be finished… I’d be finished… do I have to talk about this pussy shit?

Trump Aide:

Jesus said it was one of the two, “greatest commandments…”

But… you can pretty much ignore it around southern evangelicals. Just make sure you talk about guns. Don’t forget… guns!! Guns! Guns! Don’t forget!

Trump:

Great! I mean… what could be more opposite to my campaign than “love your neighbor as yourself?” Love is for little girls, giant pussies, and Christians who believe this crap… I’m still amazed at how many stupid people we’ve registered to vote.

Trump Aide:

Be careful Donald…. you never know who is listening…

Trump:

What am I supposed to be worried about… the Christian mafia? Nuns with guns? A tweet by some pope with a hat that’s worth the price of an escort at Mar-a-Lago?

Have a drink and relax. You look like you need to get laid with something other than a mountain goat. You religious consultants have to learn to unwind.

When do we get to ditch Christianity again? Christians have been giving me crap my whole life.

Trump Aide:

That won’t be a problem. You’re already sowing the seeds to ween people off of it.

Once you get them to dump one of the two greatest commandments, “love your neighbor as yourself,” so that they don’t apply it to undocumented immigrants and Muslims, their loyalty to their faith will already be compromised.

You will be their leader… above their faith. Look at history, it has been done before.

Trump:

Great… that’s why I hired you [name removed].

Trump Aide:

Oh and the book you will be reading from is called, “Second Corinthians… remember, not “two” Corinthians…”

Trump:

Keep forgetting… the bible is freaking weird I’m glad people are here to read this crap for me and tell me what I need to know!

Hey what is that red LED?

[tape goes silent]

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