After being criticized for being just a casino promoter that will tell you what you want to hear to take your money (or country… depending on the situation), Donald Trump has released a detailed plan outlining exactly how he plans to succeed at his goals without ushering in the apocalypse. The full plan it oulined below,
- What people want: tell them you will do that
- Make sure you say it out loud… a LOT!
- There is no step 3…
Despite being almost universally panned, Trump fought back,
“Some people try to tell me that just saying things out loud can’t make them true. All of those people have ugly wives. Not only that, my wife is hot. And those people believe in magic. To say you can’t just make something true by saying it is an insult to your intelligence. It’s literally like asking you to believe in magic. You aren’t stupid are you? I can make things true by saying them. That simple.”
The plan has been universally panned by politicians, academics, leaders, CEOs, every sane historian, your cat, and Leonardo DaVinci who came back from the dead just to write and Op-ed in the Washington Post, calling Trump, “unfit to even take a dump.“ However, all these people are involved in a massive conspiracy against Trump.
However plan has been hotly debated on cable news as if it were even debatably sane because nothing gets better ratings than a psychopath getting close to being the most powerful person in the world.