“She really should have thought this through more deeply before she came out of the womb,” said Donald Trump on CNN yesterday. Trump was referring to thirteen year old Jackie Han, who is featured in a viral video showing her screaming and crying as her undocumented parents were shipped back to a slum in Thailand.
Trump claims the girl has made a terrible choice of parents and is suffering the consequences,
“They broke American law by coming here, simple as that. She should have chosen parents who provided for her by dealing heroin and breaking their native country’s laws like everyone else in their hometown did to survive.”
Sources inside the Trump administration suggest that Trump lashed out at the thirteen year old girl because he was, “feeling bored, insecure, and pissed off at Alec Baldwin.”
“If this Jackie girl had more sense she would have been born to parents who let her die of preventable illness like everyone else in the slum she is from. I mean come on… who does this girl think she is?”
Trump continued by claiming, “it’s the law folks, it’s as simple as that…” as he unknowingly stood behind a framed copy of the Fugitive Slave Law, the Jim Crow Laws, and laws Hitler used to confiscate all of Berlin’s jelly doughnuts.
Then Trump went after the girl specifically for,
“Making poor life choices by picking parents who loved her. If she choose parents who weren’t so obsessed with her, she could have been sold into sexual slavery like all of the other girls in her town.”
“This girl really needs to evaluate the kind of parents she is picking. Trump’s America will be responsible, not acting like liberal whiners. And by responsible I mean we have to take parents away from children. Why hasn’t anyone thought of this before?”