March 15, 2017: President Trump Leaves US for Younger Sexier Democracy - When Faith Gives Reason a Back Rub

March 15, 2017: President Trump Leaves US for Younger Sexier Democracy

At 8:45am this morning President Donald J. Trump filed paperwork with the 34th circuit court claiming, “irreconcilable differences” with the United States of America.

The documents demand the United States give Trump, “half of our possessions, including New York, California, and America’s entire hydrogen bomb collection. Sources inside Trump’s legal team suggest he will also demand full custody of Iraq.

After being caught running for president in at least three other major democracies, Trump stormed out of the White House early Friday evening claiming he, “just wasn’t politically satisfied,” with America.

Despite all of the controversy, Donald Trump is nowhere to be seen. Shortly after the allegations emerged, President Trump left the US for a two week vacation in Russia, a country that he claimed was, “more accepting of douchebags.”

This comes shortly after congress blocked his plan to put a Casino inside of the Grand Canyon. Trump said that the United States Congress, “just didn’t understand how important it was to him.”

 

Untitled design-7
Simulation of the Proposed, “Would Someone With a Small Penis Make This Building? I THINK NOT” National Park.

 

President Trump’s lawyers have stipulated that they will only accept the deal giving Donald Trump half of our possessions if America is, “silent about what he did to us” (see link).

“What he did to us,” Donald Trump’s 2017 Presidency in Photos

 

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More Donald Trump Articles

Donald Trump Admits Undergoing “Pear-shaping” Procedure to Be Accepted Among Wealthy Hedonist Class

Donald Trump Reveals Plan to Deport The Statue of Liberty

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