“This new degree will take you to, “the foot,” of the most powerful people in the world,” said Justin Delaney, recruiter for the University of Indiana. Delaney explained that there would be no dull days at the office in this exciting, “hands on career.”
For students working towards the new shoe shining degree, the University is offering a choice of concentration in either “black” or “brown” shoes. However, Delaney assures prospective students that they can be educated in both types of shoes if they pursue the Masters Degree. Studies suggest that the students may not be fully prepared to pay back the $40,000 a year tuition even after being hired in the job the University of Indiana calls, “shoe-biopolishist.”
Jerry Freedman, Professor and outspoken atheist at the University defended the program with an example from history, “in the Middle Ages, the Pope swindled people out of vast amounts of money by selling the forgiveness of sins. I am very proud to say that thanks to my university and promising degrees like the new shoe shining degree, we can rest assured that our children will not be swindled out of their life savings.
“Religion caused the abuses of the past while, “our students will shine their way to glory.”
Image: Cornelis Verwaal