Inside Trump's Blackmail Management Task Force - When Faith Gives Reason a Back Rub

Inside Trump’s Blackmail Management Task Force


Many reports have suggested that Trump’s administration is chaotic and understaffed, but the one place this is not true is in President Trump’s state of the art Blackmail Management Task Force.

In a massive complex just outside of the White House, a crack team works to manage Trump’s relationship with everyone blackmailing him with a special focus on Vladimir Putin.

Entering the facility was like entering NASA’s control center right before they sent a man to the moon. The facility is absolutely state of the art and everyone is hustling and bustling to get their part of the job done. The structure was created by the same architect who built the Guggenheim, but he was paid twice as much just to make sure he did an amazing job. The walls are filled with TV screens where top secret CIA spy capabilities are being utilized.

Clearly, millions and perhaps billions of tax dollars have already gone to build the space which includes IBM’s top supercomputer that has been programed to anticipate the areas Putin would like to get massaged in.

IBM’s supercomupter, Coi has beaten 20 of the world top chess masters at once, determined 8 quadrillion characters of Pi, and now it recently recommended Trump literally lick Putin’s boots to clear the dirt off as he sung the national anthem of Russia.

“The blackmailer/blackmailee is a complicated one,” said Don Pro-Buttkisserington, chief of the Blackmail Management Taskforce,

“people like President Trump who are being blackmailed have to kiss a lot of but… A LOT! Your lips get tired at some point because these aren’t just metaphorical butts. That’s right, you have to literally kiss Russian butt until your lip muscles wear out…

Pro-Buttkisserington continued,

“…Oh any you also have to sell out your country by throwing away the alliances such as NATO that protect the free world. Can’t forget to mention that.”

The task force also includes at least three specialists who make $800,000 a year each in tax dollars just to come up with new and exciting compliments for Putin. It is estimated that it took $100,000 in your tax dollars to come up with, “your head is looking very round today Mr. Putin [literally kiss his butt]!”

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