If you just focus your positive thoughts on something, says the New Age, “Law of Attraction,” you will attract that thing to you. “But I think about food all the time… I am starving after all. It doesn’t seem to be attracting to me.” said Joseph Mibutu. […]
No one uses the restroom because they want to participate in a public dong gallery […]
“No one expected that this could be done in our lifetime,” said Dr. Franz Ferdinand of the University of Munich. Ferdinand is believed to be the first scientist to have advanced science without advancing mankind’s ability to kill each other in more creative and effective ways. […]
“Our tests indicate that children exposed to cell phone radiation in the womb are far more likely to develop at least one superpower,” said Samsung CEO Oh-Hyun Kwon. “People don’t realize just how much radiation […]
Todd Straton is sending shock-waves through culture after his comedy routine has pushed the boundaries again. Straton reportedly hailed drinking, partying, and smoking while performing at a popular hip-hop bar on the southside of Chicago […]
A recently released study of twenty corn farmers in Tennessee is expected to result in significant life changes for millions of people. This study, conducted solely on corn farmers, suggested the people who have the […]
The AP reports that no one has been critically injured after U.S. Presidential candidate Joseph Tamracky was caught on video tape respectfully listening to his opponents view. A surviving witness said this, “I was standing […]
“This new degree will take you to, “the foot,” of the most powerful people in the world,” said Justin Delaney, recruiter for the University of Indiana. Delaney explained that there would be no dull days […]
The 2015 Conference of Evolutionary Biologists found that evolution is now selecting for short people who cannot be seen across cubicles. As biologist Reinhard Schlagen wrote in his new book, Why Scientists Have too Much […]
Accomplished scientist and atheist author Joseph Manfred was seen wandering the streets yelling at strangers, “CAN YOU SEE ME?!” Sunday morning shortly after losing his Photo ID. A champion of believing only what you can prove, Manfred lost his photo-ID and then was not sure if he was alive at all. […]
“It is destroying my life! Ever since the gluten-free craze began people have been cutting me out of their life. I realize it sounds crazy but it’s actually happening!” said Dr. Glutenheim. Glutenheim detailed the […]
“In our modern age it was the closest we could get to watching gladiators fight to the death for our amusement.” admitted, Carlyle Bradley Sigismund, the founder of CBS. Sigismund, whose initials (CBS) became the […]
“He literally just sat there, on a park bench, staring at the sky, and never once taking out his smartphone. We couldn’t believe this was actually happening. We were sure he was so insane he […]
“Lucid dreaming–becoming aware that you are dreaming while still dreaming–is possibly the most dangerous hobby,” says 24 year old John Cherkon who suffered two broken arms and a broken leg after a tragic mix-up between […]
Truly shocking events come only once or twice in a lifetime. December 7th, 1941 was Pearl Harbor. September 11th, 2001 was 9/11. And June 29th 2015 was the day when a Starbucks Barista delivered a […]
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