The FBI issued an official warning today, informing the public that, “everyone who disagrees with you on any single political issue is actually a terrorist.”
An exhaustive study shows that everyone who disagrees with you is not only a terrorist but, rude, doesn’t have a job, beats their spouse, cheats at golf, and should be hung upside-down (is that even possible?) while being shot with a grenade-launching-cannon-shotgun-plane because they are literally guilty of treason.
Officials recommend that you avoid discussing politics with people completely, but if you do, and find you disagree with someone on a political issue, “you should bring a gun because you may need to shoot them before they try to detonate their suicide bomb or backpack nuclear bomb.”
The FBI recommends being vigilant, staying indoors, and constructing a hat out of tin foil to keep them from “stealing your thoughts.”
Below is a photo of your grandma after you found a political issue you disagreed about…
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