The 2015 Conference of Evolutionary Biologists found that evolution is now selecting for short people who cannot be seen across cubicles.
As biologist Reinhard Schlagen wrote in his new book, Why Scientists Have too Much Free Time,
“The office is the new jungle. The short person able to move around cubicles undetected gains many advantages, especially the element of surprise.”
For millions of years, the tall gene was superior, says Schlagen, “but this new discovery means that tall people, much like a VCR, are becoming obsolete.”
Schlagen expects that in a hundred years, most tall people will be donated to charity and bought only as novelty items.
The Conference of Evolutionary Biologists also came to the conclusion that by the year 2,300 short people will rule over the tall. Each short person, says Schlagen, would have a tall slave, to protect them, grab hard to reach jars of pickles, and give their masters delightful piggy-back rides.
Schlagen is happy with the insight as he stands at five foot three inches tall. However, as he says, “my son is an unusually tall boy. At 15, he is already six feet tall and still growing.
I made it clear to him that while everything will be OK, he would need to be donated to charity as we would prefer not to have, “old technology,” around the house.