Are Religious Freedom Laws Always Intolerant?

Intolerant Law Prevents Man from Inalienable Right to Sue People he Disagrees With

“Tolerance means living near people you disagree with strongly, but without using force to change people,” said 42 year old Todd Greeman, who recently filed a 400 million dollar lawsuit against someone he disagreed with strongly.

“I tried to hire a musician for my wedding with another man, yet this giant bigot refused” said Greeman. Sarah Wheeler (the intolerant bigoted musician) responded,

“I really don’t mean to offend you. I respect your right to be with whoever you want… and I hate to do this, and I am not trying to tell you to think like me… at all… but I personally just don’t feel comfortable playing at your wedding.  Music for me is an emotional experience, a spiritual experience where I pour out my heart. And because of my personal religious beliefs, I do not feel comfortable playing music at a same-sex wedding. I’m sorry I really don’t mean to offend you but I just cannot violate my conscience. Here is the information of five other great local musicians who would be happy to help. I genuinely wish only good things for you. So sorry about the hassle.

Greeman, shocked and enraged by this ugly display of blatant intolerance responded by taking a picture of Wheeler’s pants. When Wheeler saw this she was very confused,

Wheeler: What are you doing?

Greeman: I am taking a picture of your pants

Wheeler: What? Why?

Greeman: I’ve decided I am going to sue your pants off. I will take so much of your money that you will literally have to sell every last pair of pants… including the ones you are wearing right now!

Wheeler: I believe it is my religious duty not to say bad things about you even if you take my last pair of paints. It isn’t easy, because like most people, I like wearing pants, but I wish you the best regardless.

After this final disgusting bigoted statement, Greeman sued the intolerant woman for the merciful amount of 400 million dollars.

However, Greeman’s lawsuit was not successful because of a new “religious freedom” law. Greeman believes this new law severely limits his inalienable right to publicly humiliate and bankrupt people he has strong disagreements with.

Greeman concluded,

“Tolerance only needs to come into play when you have strong disagreements with an opposing view. It is only when you have strong disagreements with people on important issues that you need tolerance. Otherwise you wouldn’t need to, “tolerate” them because either you would agree with them yourselves or just be indifferent.

However, when you do have strong disagreements with someone, my understanding is that you are supposed to show how tolerant you are by suing them for every last dime.

If you can get a family to go on welfare, that’s when you know that your tolerance is bringing both sides of the issue together and you are making the world a better place!

Greeman has proposed the dictionary definition of tolerance be made to include, “suing people you disagree with.” Currently the definition is something like this…

Oxford Dictionary (emphasis added),

“The ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with,

the tolerance of corruption

an advocate of religious tolerance” (Oxford Dictionaries

Cambridge Dictionary,

willingness to accept behaviorand beliefs that are different from your own, even if you disagree with or disapprove of them: religious/racial tolerance”

Author’s note: I sympathize with the pain experienced on both sides. However, this is a side of the story you don’t ever hear. I think it deserves a hearing.

Authors other note: this post was released around the same time as a religious freedom law that is probably too strict & also possibly worthy of satire. I hadn’t read much about that law when this was released but based it on my knowledge of past religious freedom laws & directed this post at the laws in general rather than the most recent one which turned out to be different.

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