Marjorie Taylor Greene held another press conference today about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This time, she claims to have proof that the Dominoes Pizza chain has been systematically supplying the Ninja Turtles with pizza.
“These lawless turtle rebels survive on pizza, and right under our nose, the Dominoes Pizza chain has been delivering them pizza in the sewers!” said Marjorie.
Marjorie plans to call the FBI and request the pizza chain be officially designated a terrorist organization.
“From now on,” she said, “people working for Dominoes will be given the same treatment as those who work for ISIS.”
Marjorie concluded, “this is what the random crazy people in my random crazy district elected me to do, and gosh darnit ima’ freakin’ do it.”