Science is All We Need: Nyquil study shows Science helps Dictators sleep at night - When Faith Gives Reason a Back Rub

Science is All We Need: Nyquil study shows Science helps Dictators sleep at night

The wife of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un commented, “for some reason my husband just couldn’t sleep at night. What did he ever do to deserve this?” Scientists have discovered that dictators like Kim Jong-un suffer from a rare sleeping disorder called, “Evilepsy.”

French doctor Jacques Naivité explains, “many dictators suffer from a chemical imbalance that causes the “guilt hormone” to be secreted in high amounts into the body. The secretion of this chemical has been known to inhibit the sleep of Dictators, serial killers, and Politicians.”

However, thanks to the scientific development of sleep-aids like Nyquil and mood-regulators like Zoloft, many dictators are now living a joyful life. Kim Jong-un explains,

“I have a stressful job, massacring people isn’t as easy as it seems. At night I would hear in my head the voices of the people I had massacred so loudly that I would go outside, and while looking up to the heavens clench my fist and scream at the top of my lungs at God (my dad, Kim Jung-il) for making me this way.

“However, thanks to the miracle of Science, I am no longer the victim. People who think that science isn’t all we need should remember that thanks to science I can now massacre a thousand, even a million people with peace in my heart and a huge smile on my face, knowing that I will sleep soundly at night.”

A philosopher, a theologian, and a pastor wanted to comment on this story but they were all not permitted because they are not in scientific disciplines.

Dr. Naivité says it is inevitable that in the future, science will be able to eliminate the guilt hormone entirely. And if scientists are still considered the only authorities on the nature of reality, dictators will never again be the victims of the tyrannical disease called, “Evilepsy.”

In this image taken from video North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, center, salutes during a military parade marking the 65th anniversary of the country's founding, Monday, Sept. 9, 2013, in Pyongyang, North Korea. (AP Photo/KRT via AP Video) TV OUT, NORTH KOREA OUT



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