The Parable of Rodrigo: Why Saving DACA is Not Enough
A certain man named Ed lived in a house by the sea. Every day he would say hi and smile to his next door neighbor. It was a young family with two cute little children. […]
A certain man named Ed lived in a house by the sea. Every day he would say hi and smile to his next door neighbor. It was a young family with two cute little children. […]
In the 2013 movie Elysium, a mother has a very sick child. In this Sci-Fi film there are two planets… one of prosperity, the other of poverty. This mother lives on the impoverished planet. She […]
Pope Francis released an encyclical this afternoon tited, Givi Mi a Breakum, directed at a single individual, Kevin McDaniel. McDaniel, despite having four children by the age of 29, swears he is not is not Catholic. […]
Yesterday evening Todd Jacobson popped into being uncaused out of nothing inside of a New York City apartment. Jacobson, who popped into existence as a fully formed adult, immediately went to the fridge to grab […]
“If they are able to limp into class the next day alive, then maybe they are worth keeping in the gene pool,” said ethics professor, Johann Fritz. Fritz is part of a growing number of ethicists who […]
“The universe is all One! All of life is One,” said Deepak Suzuki, a Buddhist Monk and New age teacher, shortly before a great white shark leaped out of the ocean, grabbed him by the leg, and […]
“I have read over 200 peer-reviewed scientific studies on dating,” said 15 year old Tanner Finkleman, “yet, it has worked out so poorly that I plan on taking my own father to the prom.” Finkleman had […]
“Religious people have an unnatural desire to believe in something supernatural,” said Ferris Richardson, who owns over 250 assorted Marvel figurines. American Culture in general has spent over 3 billion dollars in recent years on Superhero […]
“Our survival rate is below the national average but so are our prices so I think it evens out” said CEO of Spirit Airlines, Jack Spark. While admitting about half of the people who take Spirit […]
A group of 9 residents of San Diego, California died last night after they forgot their hoodies and stepped outside in 50 degree weather. One of the victims, Bo Burrows, left behind a wife, two children, and […]
The word “Thanksgiving” is a combination of two greek words, Thankus and Guetus. Thankus was the greek god known for his turkey shape and destructive addiction to cranberry sauce. Geutus was a human being who is […]
“I only slept with highly intelligent women,” said Dr. Alexi Gebhardt, “considering that I myself have three doctorates, the hundreds of intelligent babies produced from these affairs will benefit mankind immensely.” Dr. Gebhardt is famed for […]
42 year old Jason Billman knew that the earth was rotating at high speeds since he was in middle-school. But it wasn’t until August 28th, 2015 that he really started to think about it. It […]
“He just sits in the fridge all day absorbing vodka-sauce,” reported the Flying Rotini Monster, brother of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM). After coming home after a late night of pasta parties Friday evening, reported […]
If you use words and not just grunts, you will get Promo-Ted. […]
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