Marjorie Taylor Greene believes the Pink Power Ranger is behind the January 6th insurrection. Marjorie claims the power ranger used mind control to convince Trump supporters to invade the capitol. No word on if she […]
Marjorie Taylor Greene held another press conference today about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This time, she claims to have proof that the Dominoes Pizza chain has been systematically supplying the Ninja Turtles with pizza. […]
“I’ve won the state of Mars in the 2020 election, giving me 8,000 electoral votes, making me the real President of America,” said Donald Trump. Trump believes he would’ve won Mars before the recount if […]
“We can’t trust the mainstream media, because they were wrong about COVID origins, but you can trust me” said Marjorie Taylor Greene, shortly before biting off the head of a fucking bat. Marjorie believes that […]
“America is failing” said a man living a better life than medieval royalty could’ve even comprehended. “America is completely vulnerable,” said another man, living in the same country with the strongest military the world has […]
Image credit: Gage Skidmore CC BY-SA 2.0, changes made. After a half an hour of chastising Dr. Fauci, Rand Paul looked exhausted. After furrowing his brow he looked Dr. Fauci straight in the eye and […]
This is how I know God wanted me to be a broadcaster said Tucker Carlsen, describing his iconic, “surprise pooping” face. Tucker Carlsen has spent years perfecting face, which he uses to show confusion and […]
A bowl of soup has been officially nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. The bowl, filled with pea soup, is credited with being warm and tasty. Independent observers say it was a slippery slope after […]
A man who completely depends on the system for employment, protection, and future prosperity was quoted saying, “BLOW UP THE SYSTEM” Wednesday night. The man, who posted this comment on Reddit, lives in a society […]
“The deal was supposed to expire once Trump left office, but the devil is very scary and could primary us,” said one source inside the GOP. The devil could not be reached for comment but […]
Marvel just announced it’s next Superhero movie called, “Todd,” an everyday idiot who discovers his superhero power: buying overpriced stocks. The origin story begins with Todd’s grandfather who put his life savings in horse stocks […]
Just this morning thousands of Russian-backed social media accounts confused America’s custom of “casual Friday” with Russia’s state mandated holiday, “Casualty Friday.” Russian troll accounts on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram all posted comments on the […]
At a rally moments ago Donald Trump ordered that Shadrach, Meshach and John McCain be thrown into the fiery furnace. Many in the GOP assumed Trump would still hope their God would save them, but […]
In a surprising change of policy, Valdimir Putin signaled peace with the west this morning by freeing 755 American diplomats who were being held captive in Russia. The move came as a shock to the […]
The new GOP healthcare bill reportedly includes an amendment to authorize the President to make a preemptive strike on Robin Hood and his band of Merry Men. The amendment called, “nuking medicaid, protection for preexisting […]
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